Titles in this set:
1. Diddly Squat: ‘Til The Cows Come Home
2. Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly
3. Diddly Squat: A Year On The Farm
Description:
Diddly Squat: ‘Til The Cows Come Home
Enthusiastic trainee farmer Jeremy Clarkson made just £144 in his first year at Diddly Squat Farm. This year he's determined to do better. Not because he now knows what he's doing. But because he's fed up of getting stick from Kaleb.
Yet farming continues to be a challenge.
For instance . . .
· Loading a grain trailer was more demanding than flying an Apache gunship?
· Cows were more dangerous than motor-racing?
· It's easier to get planning permission to build a nuclear plant than to turn a barn into a restaurant?
Jeremy's always got a plan. Loads of them. Often cunning.
Not always greeted with wild enthusiasm by Kaleb and Cheerful Charlie, however . . .
Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly
After three years, Jeremy Clarkson has discovered the golden rule of farming:
whatever you hope will happen, won't.
Enthusiastic schemes to diversify face defeat at the hands of the Council Planning department, or derision from Kaleb. Jeremy's plans for a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup are doubted by Lisa. And the stifling thickets of red tape keep only one person smiling – Cheerful Charlie, who charges by the hour.
But the animals couldn’t be happier. A rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro is delighting the cows. The pigs are bringing home the bacon. And the goats are . . . most probably psychopaths.
Yet on the good days it hard not to be optimistic.
Where else do you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner?
Maybe it’s not just Break-heart Maestro who gets a happy ending?
Diddly Squat: A Year On The Farm
Welcome to Clarkson's farm.
An idyllic spot offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows and natural springs, it's the perfect plot of land for someone to delegate the actual, you know, farming to someone else while he galivants around the world in cars.
Until one day, Jeremy decided he would do the farming itself.
After all, how hard could it be? . . .
Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.
Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller.
Between them, they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.
And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . .
FREE DELIVERY FOR ORDERS OVER £35
We aim to process and dispatch our orders within 24 hours. The orders go into our warehouse to be picked, packed and consolidated into one parcel where appropriate. Please note orders are only processed Monday-Friday.
We sometimes split orders between multiple parcels. Items from our extended range section are dispatched separately.
If any items are missing from your delivery, please allow 2 working days for the rest of your order to arrive before contacting us at sales@books2door.com
All of our books are 100% brand new, unread and purchased directly from the publishers in bulk allowing us to pass the huge savings on to you!
UK DELIVERIES
Single Books and items under 750g
Standard Delivery: £1.99 (2-4 working days)
Orders Under £35
Standard Delivery: £2.99 (2-4 working days)
Express Delivery: £5.99 (1-2 working days)
Orders between £35 and £100
Standard Delivery: Free (2-4 working days)
Express Delivery: £3.99 (reduced rate, 1-2 working days)
Orders over £100
Express Delivery: Free (1-2 working days)
These delivery times are the maximum delivery periods that a purchase can take to reach our customers. Delivery may be sooner than this. These times are an estimation, not a guarantee.
There are no deliveries on Saturdays, Sundays or Bank Holidays.
